Confidence

I'm pretty sure it's no secret that I am confident in myself. I think most of my friends and family know this. What I think most people don’t know is how I got to where I am. I had plenty of trial and error over the years and there are a few principles and applications I discovered helped along the way:

1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am a daughter of God. I have a perfected and exalted Savior that loves me and died for me. I rely on these to conduct any other beliefs I have. I had to evaluate this all throughout middle school and high school. I was different and I hated it. I prayed, I read, I studied and I eventually came to trust myself in my differences and what that could truly mean for my potential.

2. Do Something You Fear

I was in college in desperate need of a job (still weird to say that as a pastime). I have a friend tell me about a group interview happening for the ropes course on campus. I went, got the job and had to start training. I am deathly scared of heights, the stomach drop when you fall, wind up high etc. So my boss tells me I can’t get certified to work unless I climb to the top of this 55’ tower. Thankfully, the desperation pushed me to the top, and a really long prayer they whole way up.

3 years later, I became the assistant manager, I was CPR and First Aid certified, I worked at the off campus ropes course, I did a giant swing, power pole, and zip line, I was an AFY counselor, I learned all about horses, I made a ton of friends, I learned how to drive a snowmobile, dance like a fool, cross country ski, and tie a ton of really cool knots.

I would not have had any of these skills or experiences had it not been for the one choice to go interview for something I fear. I overcame fears, anxieties, worries and built confidence all along the way.

3. Live in the Moment

I can still remember when I hugged my mom goodbye after she dropped me off at college, the first time I rode a horse running, the first time I got flipped country dancing, sitting on a rock by myself staring at the Teton range, speaking at the UN, sledding in complete darkness while it was snowing, and when I saw my best friend get married. One of the most beautiful things you can do in life is take a step back and take it in. The beauty not only comes from seeing and feeling but from the skill it takes to be able to do this consistently.

4. Document It

You only regret the pictures you didn’t take. First of all, I have been blessed with friends who are good at this and taught me what to do in front of a camera. I still stink at it, but they definitely help when I am feeling vulnerable.

Don’t be afraid to ask a random stranger to take your picture at a cool place! I try to do it wherever I go. Plenty of people have taken a picture of that mountain or beach but not many will get to take a picture of you being there! I think it is important to have this skill because later when you have kids they will want you in the picture not just taking it.

5. Talk to a Stranger

Yes. Embrace what is human nature. It is not as hard as you think to go up to someone and start a conversation. It is scary but will you die? No. You’ll either leave an impression, make a friend, learn something new, or just have a conversation. It can be hard to put down the phone and have face to face interaction but I promise it’s good for you.

I use to dread talking on the phone. I use to cringe introducing myself. And I use to hate talking in general. Now if you asked me, I could get up in church tomorrow and talk all 3 hours through all 3 classes about the Gospel. I only say I can do this, because I’ve practiced, and use a bit of self discipline and coercion to have the confidence I do.  

Take a chance on being uncomfortable. We all need to be more comfortable trying to be uncomfortable.

As my dad would say, moral of the story is, confidence can be beautiful, but it takes time! Practice it over and over and it will slowly contribute to a growth mindset that will lead to success in other areas of your life.

(If you want a good read, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck) Mindset is a topic for another day. Until then take a step and jump!

My #1 Stress

I’m going to talk about money. Because Lord knows, I know everything about it! Ha, back to the point- money scares me. It has for as long as I can remember. I felt like the only way to make it was to save it and hoard it until you had enough. This takes a lifetime, which destroys the point in the first place right?

Have you read the New Testament? So then you’ve read the parable of the talents. I am totally the guy that goes and buries it and shows the Lord, “Look I didn’t lose it!” While the Lord is thinking as he rolls His eyes at me, “Or use it, or help people with it, or multiply it in any way, shape or form.”

Not until recently, have I truly learned that you can work desperately hard, long and rough to hopefully have your money working for you. You have to have creativity, passion, drive, tenacity, mentors, and most importantly you have to know your spiritual gifts so that your money is working for a Godly cause. I have been blessed to meet people in my life, especially recently, who have figured out how to do this. After all, I am living in Park City! They have accomplished it, are in the process of it, or understand the dynamics they need to accomplish the lifestyle they want to lead.

Wherever you are in life, make sure that you find yourself on the spectrum of not being afraid of money. That is what I am trying and learning to do, and I know it will be quite the process but that is where faith comes into play. Use it, act on it, endure, and it will pay off. Pun intended.

Embrace It

Intimacy.

This word has some taboo persona attached to its coattails that I have never understood. The definition is close familiarity or friendship. With such a simple definition why do we feel the need to cringe when we hear it?

Our society has plenty of problems and I personally believe they all stem from the misunderstanding of this word both in thought and action. In dating and marriage it is assumed to be solely physical. This is where I think our viewpoints start to steer off the path. Intimacy has so much more depth and meaning if you take the time to treat it with respect in all of its facets.

For now I want to start with intimacy with yourself. Do you have a true friendship with yourself? If you don’t love yourself or even like yourself how do you expect someone to reciprocate? They cannot do the work of 2 people for you. You have to put in effort too. So why not start now? What are you thinking about when you look into the mirror? Are you comfortable going to a restaurant alone? Are you taking risks? Do you believe in your abilities? Let’s be real, I’m just writing this to prove that it is possible to believe in yourself and take risks. How do you build a friendship with yourself?

3 years ago I started going to the gym at 6am with a few friends as a new year’s resolution. It was awful. There is no other way to put it. I hated it. I would look in the mirror every morning and dread what I was about to go do. I looked at my friends and they were lifting more weight, enjoying themselves and loving themselves more. I felt like I was wasting my time. Then one day, over 3 months after starting, I looked in the mirror and smiled at myself. For the first time that year I recognized myself; I recognized my happiness and joy.

All I did was change my mindset. I developed a skill that helped me love myself. I stopped comparing myself to my friends and started comparing yesterday and today. I created a familiarity and a friendship to an activity, which in turn, helped me build a friendship with myself. This opened the doors for me to discover how to do this in more aspects of my life. With heaven as my witness, I still have a long ways to go. However, I would say that coming to understand this has helped me look outward, stay positive, have more compassion, develop a small amount of patience and do my best to love deeper.

Hence, a picture of me with no sleep, on a windy day, facing my fears, no makeup and a blistered nose. Embrace it.

New Year New Job New Home

I am overwhelmed. I am fearful. I am avoidant of possibilities. I am questioning all of my adapted philosophies on life and people.

I have been looking forward to 2017 since 2016 began. 2016 was rigorous, tight, near impossible and made me cry myself to sleep one too many times. Oh, but how great is the hand of the Lord in my life to help me learn why.

2017 can be described as a new home, new friends, new job, new town and comes with ample amounts of questions. I had no desires to live here but yet here I am loving how hard I have to work to learn. I was intimidated by my new job but I LOVE my relationship with my boss. Wisdom does not come with age, it comes with experience and choice and she is a prime example. I was worried that I would not fit expectations that the kids have of their teacher. Somehow here I am, being me, learning in the job and realizing that there is a reason Christ lists the attributes of a child as things that will be worth your while. They teach me, mold me, humble me, humor me and somehow through the tension I know they feel, they still love me.

Jagger is beautiful. Her spirit is designed to love and to be loved. That is all I have ever wanted out of life and here it is manifesting itself in the form of a fiery, sassy, confident, blonde blue-eyed 5 year old.

Weston is soulful. He is care free and works hard to make people smile and laugh. He can play the guitar and when he does he sings from his gut and heart because the passion is begging to show. He loves to read and understands his scriptures better that any child I know.

Boston wants to be accepted by everyone. He will work so hard in any capacity he can to please people. Whether is is figuring out a problem in math or dancing in the kitchen to Mulan and The Goofy Movie he will find a way to go the extra mile for others.

I love knowing that I can accept criticism and correction and be okay with it. I didn't even know I possessed that talent. It is definitely a new one. 2016 prepared me for 2017. I was consistently being humbled by the Lord's will for my life. I am so grateful he took the stubborn in me and beat it up a few times to take the pride out. It has made a world of difference.

At this point all I can say is bless my heart for taking this long to figure out some obvious flaws and bless my heart because now comes the task of refining them into strengths.

HRJ

Alabama vs. Reality

Confession:

I hate to admit it but I now secretly love being able to say I call Idaho home, especially Teton Valley and my vacations are spent where I used to call home.


Sundays in the South:

I loved being home and being able to catch up with my home ward and meeting all of the new members. This is Nikki. I went to high school with her and she converted 2 years ago and now she's married and pregnant so next time I see her she's gonna have a baby! Also my mom and I went to a piano recital for my sister's best friends since she wasn't able to go because she was at the beach.

Rachael Graduated:

My sister Karen came down from Nashville with my baby niece Elizabeth and my brother Joe works downtown where it was held so he was able to come as well. I'm so proud of her and all she has accomplished and I can't wait to she what she decides to pursue.

Graduation Cookout:

I loved seeing so many people come together to support Rachael and what she has done but I especially loved seeing my family. I surprised my nieces and nephews and hung out with them the whole night. My oldest nephew is now taller than me!

Fishing for Days:

How do I spend my last night at home? I fish. It is one of my favorite things to do and I was the only one who caught a bass. I caught 5 for the night. Don Paul just wanted me to take a picture with his catfish so I took one with Hunter who leaves for his mission on my birthday next month to Spain. Last time I get to see him for 2 years!

Home to Home in 1 Day:

Usually when I travel home I break it up into 2 days because it is such a long drive to Idaho alone but I did it all in one day on Wednesday. Woke up at 4, flew to Dallas with a 2 hour layover, then SLC, then drove 5 plus hours to Teton Valley. I got a beautiful sunrise before I got to the airport and when I got back to Idaho I got a rainbow in my backyard.

JOSH TURNER:

Thursday I went to a sold out show at my school for Josh Turner. I went with my friend Daniel who has heard of him but doesn't know much of his music. I'm pretty sure he loved it. Scotty McCreery came 2 years ago and sang a cover of Your Man and Mr. Turner ended the night with that song. It was great to say I've heard it twice on the same stage. We had amazing seats too!

Training:

Thursday I also started my training to be an AFY counselor and so far it has been a blast and a ton of work. I got chosen to be one of the wranglers so all that time at President Wilson's paid off! I also live with 34 people and that has been one for the books as well.

HomeGrown

Sunday Best:

I just love these girls and it is going to be an amazing summer! (Bekah, Annie, Meredith, Me)

Last Ride on a Monday: 

It rained and I took Scott riding. Once again I learned a new path and I LOVE riding in the rain.

 Work:

I had to cut metal poles for tents and bunk beds and it looked pretty cool. I even got to wear Keith's brand new welder's cap.

Sunsets in Idaho and Alabama!

It had been raining for days in Idaho and when I was in Pocatello the clouds let up to give me a great show. Then I decided as soon as I got home to Alabama I was going to the stake camp out at camp Hulaco and this was the sunset on the way and I loved it.

Stake Camp Out:

Since I am ropes certified my friends volunteered me to help work the ropes course all day. It was so fun to see all the kids I use to babysit come up and do a great job on all of the elements. This place is beautiful. and I miss it so much. (Jessica Armstrong with her daughters Lily and Kate. I am their former babysitter. And Don Paul the most knowledgeable man I know when it comes to the outdoors.)

 Baron's Baseball:

My parents both have summer jobs downtown for Birmingham's Minor League team the Baron's. My dad and my sister were at the beach for a music festival so I went with my mom since she had to work. We lost by a landslide but I was still in heaven. I just love being home and the south; just look at those clouds! She also showed me where they installed the sign for the entrance to the newly done rotary trail. I love being home!

Lovin' Every Minute

Sunday Flower Fields:

Dandelions are actually really pretty when there are enough to take cool pictures like this on a Sunday afternoon.

Alli's Birthday Present:

I went riding on Monday and I took Alli with me for her birthday. But of course she one upped me and brought her camera. But I'm glad she did because just look at these!! Photos courtesy of Brock.Alli Photography:

Snow:

I thought this was over but we woke up on Tuesday to 4 inches of snow! It melted by noon thank heavens! But green and white look oddly beautiful together.

Critter Ran:

Wednesday I am out with President Wilson riding. He had to get down to clear the path and cut a small dead tree. He is about half way done and critter decides that he has had enough and runs home to the barn. Sure enough when we got back he was there. But in the mean time president takes the horse I'm riding, Indie, and goes to make sure he ran home. So I was in national forest for a solid 15 minutes by myself paranoid a bear was going to eat me.

Tailing:

So president comes back and he walks the whole way home clearing this path. We get to the bottom if a very steep hill and he says to me, "Okay when I say go you are going to have Indie run up the hill and make sure he runs and I will follow." I was fine with that but I felt bad that he was going to have to walk up this dreaded hill.

He tells me to go and I go, then I turn around as we are going and I see President Wilson holding onto the horse's tail and running up the hill behind Indie! It was the craziest thing I have ever been a part of. But it was so cool. Here is President Wilson (photo courtesy of Brock.Alli Photography):

Bike rides:

Thursday Bree, Merideth, and Bekah all decide that they want to go on a bike ride so I borrowed a friend's bike and tagged along. Little did I know how out of shape I am. We rode to Tetonia and back and it was a whopping 8 miles. I thought my legs were going to fall off. But the sunset on the Grand was beautiful! And so was the sunset afterwords. And we saw 2 owls and their nests!

Work:

We built and delivered bunks to different camp sites on the property in preparation for AFY. We built 22 bunks which passed our goal of 20 so we get to have a pizza party. We also had to set up more tents but we didn't have enough poles so I had to cut some new poles. Sparks were flying and it hurt when they hit but it was fun to try something new!

Ebony and Water:

Since Critter ran away Wednesday I got to spur train him on Saturday. I took my friend Kennedie to ride with us and she rode Ebony. We go down a trail that crosses over a creek about 3 times and Ebony did not want to get her feet wet. The first cross she jumps and Kennedie almost flew off. Then next one she dragged her through all of this side brush and the last time she ran Kennedie into a tree. I felt so bad, so this week President Wilson is water training her.