To Mom(s)

Dear mama,

Indebted, blessed, grateful, humbled. These are a few words that come to mind when I think of the inspiring influence you have over me. Heavenly Father saw fit for our relationship to be mother-daughter. I am so grateful He blessed me with you.

I still remember when I was little and I would lay on your stomach while you would scratch my back every night before bed. I still remember when you had me put ketchup on my lima beans because for a crazy while ketchup made everything taste good. I still remember when I broke my arm riding a bike and you were so compassionate towards what I thought was a huge mistake. I still remember you calling me sweet pea every night before bed. I still remember you yelling at me through gritted teeth for being mean to Rachael. I still remember when you surprised Rachael and me with Grady, the best dog ever. I still remember seeing you in the stands at all of the football games.

All of these little moments over time have created an amazing relationship and wonderful example of motherhood. You are dedicated. You are kind. You are fierce. You are passionate. You are submissive. You are faithful. You are selfless. You love your family. You sacrifice daily. And most importantly you love the Lord.

I am so grateful for all of the skills, characteristics, principles, lessons and game show trivia you have taught me.

Thank you for signing me up for soccer, gymnastics and swimming. Thank you for forcing me to be in marching band. Thank you for going to all of my games and cheering me on. Thank you for reading to me. Thank you for serving others. Thank you for singing Journey in the car with me and helping me fall in love with 90's country. Thank you for working 3+ jobs as long as I can remember so that we didn’t go without. Thank you for loving dad no matter what and standing with us when even when it seemed impossible.

Thank you for exercising your God given gifts, found in the sacred calling of motherhood, and letting those shine through us.

To all the other moms out there who have done so much for me. Thank you. I promise it does not go unnoticed. I love yall and am so grateful for the sacrifices yall made for me as well.

I love you to the moon a million times over and I can’t wait to see you next month.

When you feel down read this to remind yourself how important you are and that you are needed.

Love,

Hannah

(FUN)k

Problem:

Stagnant. That is how I would describe the past month.

For the past 5ish years I have moved, packed up, changed schedules or jobs every 3-4 months. Presently, this is not the case for me and I am trying my best to be okay with growing in a different way. I have viewed this pattern of change as how I grow spiritually, mentally, physically etc. But now I am in one place. I have one job. I have one home. I have one circle of friends. It is pushing me to step outside my bounds voluntarily rather than by force of circumstance.

Routine:

I am falling into a routine of work until 5, running errands if needs be, going to the gym (climbing), coming home and cleaning up, and going to bed.This is so boring compared to what I was doing before! But I know this is what I need to be doing.

Question:

I always try to look at any given situation I am put in and ask the question: What am I supposed to be learning from this? And even though my job is repetitive, I am still learning and I am still growing. I would just say it is not as extreme as it was before.

Answer:

If you find yourself in this situation or you have been stuck longer than I have, I would challenge you to ask yourself the question from above. It motivates me, helps me find meaning, in even the smallest ways, and has me actively searching for the hand of the Lord in my life when I feel like He is slipping away.

Duh:

So basically you are only stagnant if you tell yourself you are. My best bet is that this is a simple fix you can make in every moment by just looking for the good. Find the fun in all the funk!

Embrace It

Intimacy.

This word has some taboo persona attached to its coattails that I have never understood. The definition is close familiarity or friendship. With such a simple definition why do we feel the need to cringe when we hear it?

Our society has plenty of problems and I personally believe they all stem from the misunderstanding of this word both in thought and action. In dating and marriage it is assumed to be solely physical. This is where I think our viewpoints start to steer off the path. Intimacy has so much more depth and meaning if you take the time to treat it with respect in all of its facets.

For now I want to start with intimacy with yourself. Do you have a true friendship with yourself? If you don’t love yourself or even like yourself how do you expect someone to reciprocate? They cannot do the work of 2 people for you. You have to put in effort too. So why not start now? What are you thinking about when you look into the mirror? Are you comfortable going to a restaurant alone? Are you taking risks? Do you believe in your abilities? Let’s be real, I’m just writing this to prove that it is possible to believe in yourself and take risks. How do you build a friendship with yourself?

3 years ago I started going to the gym at 6am with a few friends as a new year’s resolution. It was awful. There is no other way to put it. I hated it. I would look in the mirror every morning and dread what I was about to go do. I looked at my friends and they were lifting more weight, enjoying themselves and loving themselves more. I felt like I was wasting my time. Then one day, over 3 months after starting, I looked in the mirror and smiled at myself. For the first time that year I recognized myself; I recognized my happiness and joy.

All I did was change my mindset. I developed a skill that helped me love myself. I stopped comparing myself to my friends and started comparing yesterday and today. I created a familiarity and a friendship to an activity, which in turn, helped me build a friendship with myself. This opened the doors for me to discover how to do this in more aspects of my life. With heaven as my witness, I still have a long ways to go. However, I would say that coming to understand this has helped me look outward, stay positive, have more compassion, develop a small amount of patience and do my best to love deeper.

Hence, a picture of me with no sleep, on a windy day, facing my fears, no makeup and a blistered nose. Embrace it.