Confidence

I'm pretty sure it's no secret that I am confident in myself. I think most of my friends and family know this. What I think most people don’t know is how I got to where I am. I had plenty of trial and error over the years and there are a few principles and applications I discovered helped along the way:

1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am a daughter of God. I have a perfected and exalted Savior that loves me and died for me. I rely on these to conduct any other beliefs I have. I had to evaluate this all throughout middle school and high school. I was different and I hated it. I prayed, I read, I studied and I eventually came to trust myself in my differences and what that could truly mean for my potential.

2. Do Something You Fear

I was in college in desperate need of a job (still weird to say that as a pastime). I have a friend tell me about a group interview happening for the ropes course on campus. I went, got the job and had to start training. I am deathly scared of heights, the stomach drop when you fall, wind up high etc. So my boss tells me I can’t get certified to work unless I climb to the top of this 55’ tower. Thankfully, the desperation pushed me to the top, and a really long prayer they whole way up.

3 years later, I became the assistant manager, I was CPR and First Aid certified, I worked at the off campus ropes course, I did a giant swing, power pole, and zip line, I was an AFY counselor, I learned all about horses, I made a ton of friends, I learned how to drive a snowmobile, dance like a fool, cross country ski, and tie a ton of really cool knots.

I would not have had any of these skills or experiences had it not been for the one choice to go interview for something I fear. I overcame fears, anxieties, worries and built confidence all along the way.

3. Live in the Moment

I can still remember when I hugged my mom goodbye after she dropped me off at college, the first time I rode a horse running, the first time I got flipped country dancing, sitting on a rock by myself staring at the Teton range, speaking at the UN, sledding in complete darkness while it was snowing, and when I saw my best friend get married. One of the most beautiful things you can do in life is take a step back and take it in. The beauty not only comes from seeing and feeling but from the skill it takes to be able to do this consistently.

4. Document It

You only regret the pictures you didn’t take. First of all, I have been blessed with friends who are good at this and taught me what to do in front of a camera. I still stink at it, but they definitely help when I am feeling vulnerable.

Don’t be afraid to ask a random stranger to take your picture at a cool place! I try to do it wherever I go. Plenty of people have taken a picture of that mountain or beach but not many will get to take a picture of you being there! I think it is important to have this skill because later when you have kids they will want you in the picture not just taking it.

5. Talk to a Stranger

Yes. Embrace what is human nature. It is not as hard as you think to go up to someone and start a conversation. It is scary but will you die? No. You’ll either leave an impression, make a friend, learn something new, or just have a conversation. It can be hard to put down the phone and have face to face interaction but I promise it’s good for you.

I use to dread talking on the phone. I use to cringe introducing myself. And I use to hate talking in general. Now if you asked me, I could get up in church tomorrow and talk all 3 hours through all 3 classes about the Gospel. I only say I can do this, because I’ve practiced, and use a bit of self discipline and coercion to have the confidence I do.  

Take a chance on being uncomfortable. We all need to be more comfortable trying to be uncomfortable.

As my dad would say, moral of the story is, confidence can be beautiful, but it takes time! Practice it over and over and it will slowly contribute to a growth mindset that will lead to success in other areas of your life.

(If you want a good read, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck) Mindset is a topic for another day. Until then take a step and jump!