My #1 Stress

I’m going to talk about money. Because Lord knows, I know everything about it! Ha, back to the point- money scares me. It has for as long as I can remember. I felt like the only way to make it was to save it and hoard it until you had enough. This takes a lifetime, which destroys the point in the first place right?

Have you read the New Testament? So then you’ve read the parable of the talents. I am totally the guy that goes and buries it and shows the Lord, “Look I didn’t lose it!” While the Lord is thinking as he rolls His eyes at me, “Or use it, or help people with it, or multiply it in any way, shape or form.”

Not until recently, have I truly learned that you can work desperately hard, long and rough to hopefully have your money working for you. You have to have creativity, passion, drive, tenacity, mentors, and most importantly you have to know your spiritual gifts so that your money is working for a Godly cause. I have been blessed to meet people in my life, especially recently, who have figured out how to do this. After all, I am living in Park City! They have accomplished it, are in the process of it, or understand the dynamics they need to accomplish the lifestyle they want to lead.

Wherever you are in life, make sure that you find yourself on the spectrum of not being afraid of money. That is what I am trying and learning to do, and I know it will be quite the process but that is where faith comes into play. Use it, act on it, endure, and it will pay off. Pun intended.

Embrace It

Intimacy.

This word has some taboo persona attached to its coattails that I have never understood. The definition is close familiarity or friendship. With such a simple definition why do we feel the need to cringe when we hear it?

Our society has plenty of problems and I personally believe they all stem from the misunderstanding of this word both in thought and action. In dating and marriage it is assumed to be solely physical. This is where I think our viewpoints start to steer off the path. Intimacy has so much more depth and meaning if you take the time to treat it with respect in all of its facets.

For now I want to start with intimacy with yourself. Do you have a true friendship with yourself? If you don’t love yourself or even like yourself how do you expect someone to reciprocate? They cannot do the work of 2 people for you. You have to put in effort too. So why not start now? What are you thinking about when you look into the mirror? Are you comfortable going to a restaurant alone? Are you taking risks? Do you believe in your abilities? Let’s be real, I’m just writing this to prove that it is possible to believe in yourself and take risks. How do you build a friendship with yourself?

3 years ago I started going to the gym at 6am with a few friends as a new year’s resolution. It was awful. There is no other way to put it. I hated it. I would look in the mirror every morning and dread what I was about to go do. I looked at my friends and they were lifting more weight, enjoying themselves and loving themselves more. I felt like I was wasting my time. Then one day, over 3 months after starting, I looked in the mirror and smiled at myself. For the first time that year I recognized myself; I recognized my happiness and joy.

All I did was change my mindset. I developed a skill that helped me love myself. I stopped comparing myself to my friends and started comparing yesterday and today. I created a familiarity and a friendship to an activity, which in turn, helped me build a friendship with myself. This opened the doors for me to discover how to do this in more aspects of my life. With heaven as my witness, I still have a long ways to go. However, I would say that coming to understand this has helped me look outward, stay positive, have more compassion, develop a small amount of patience and do my best to love deeper.

Hence, a picture of me with no sleep, on a windy day, facing my fears, no makeup and a blistered nose. Embrace it.

New Year New Job New Home

I am overwhelmed. I am fearful. I am avoidant of possibilities. I am questioning all of my adapted philosophies on life and people.

I have been looking forward to 2017 since 2016 began. 2016 was rigorous, tight, near impossible and made me cry myself to sleep one too many times. Oh, but how great is the hand of the Lord in my life to help me learn why.

2017 can be described as a new home, new friends, new job, new town and comes with ample amounts of questions. I had no desires to live here but yet here I am loving how hard I have to work to learn. I was intimidated by my new job but I LOVE my relationship with my boss. Wisdom does not come with age, it comes with experience and choice and she is a prime example. I was worried that I would not fit expectations that the kids have of their teacher. Somehow here I am, being me, learning in the job and realizing that there is a reason Christ lists the attributes of a child as things that will be worth your while. They teach me, mold me, humble me, humor me and somehow through the tension I know they feel, they still love me.

Jagger is beautiful. Her spirit is designed to love and to be loved. That is all I have ever wanted out of life and here it is manifesting itself in the form of a fiery, sassy, confident, blonde blue-eyed 5 year old.

Weston is soulful. He is care free and works hard to make people smile and laugh. He can play the guitar and when he does he sings from his gut and heart because the passion is begging to show. He loves to read and understands his scriptures better that any child I know.

Boston wants to be accepted by everyone. He will work so hard in any capacity he can to please people. Whether is is figuring out a problem in math or dancing in the kitchen to Mulan and The Goofy Movie he will find a way to go the extra mile for others.

I love knowing that I can accept criticism and correction and be okay with it. I didn't even know I possessed that talent. It is definitely a new one. 2016 prepared me for 2017. I was consistently being humbled by the Lord's will for my life. I am so grateful he took the stubborn in me and beat it up a few times to take the pride out. It has made a world of difference.

At this point all I can say is bless my heart for taking this long to figure out some obvious flaws and bless my heart because now comes the task of refining them into strengths.

HRJ